I keep starting and a post then I get distracted and I never finish. It’s frustrating because some days I wake up and want to write instead of heading off to work. Other days there’s so much in my head, I find myself overwhelmed with the thought of putting together a post that will satisfy me until I have another pressing desire to write. So I end up not following through but not tonight! It’s the last day of Thanksgiving/Fall break at 11:42 and I’m up writing. I needed this. We are closing out 2016 SOON, I’ve changed so much since this post and I want to share parts of these lessons with you. There were days it wasn’t easy nor did I have the desire to be intentional in pursuit of pleasing God or being purposeful and living well but I believe I did. My life is better for it. I hope you are able to feel and sense it through my writings.
I’ve spent most of my time since returning to work, working of course and supporting my kid’s college dream. I wish someone had told me the amount of work it takes to prepare for college. I mean I went and all but I applied to two schools in-state and that was that. Not my son. Kid has BIG dreams and I am here for them! Who doesn’t want their child to have a better life than the one they are living and what parent wouldn’t do anything to help their kid reach the goal. So we’ve been busy with all the things we laid out to finish his senior year strong. I’m one proud momma but oftentimes tired.
If you are wondering where is the ‘me’ and my goals in all of this, I have to truthfully admit my dreams are still on the back burner. Not so much because I don’t have the time but I feel that I am in a new season of transition and preparation. I was sharing with my mom on the phone Sunday evening that I am experiencing the same feeling that I had 12 years ago when I decided to move away from my small hometown, I so desperately wanted to try something new and different. I had no husband, no savings, no roommate or relatives nearby. I just wanted to go and spread my wings and I did. I had a 4 year old toddler and a dream. I survived so much then and I’m stronger.
I’m also still adventurous and I’m itching for something new. Not necessarily a place but something different. I’m being stretched and challenged now so I know my next destination in life will be one that will require me to dig deep and rely on all the lessons I’m learning now. I can’t say that I know fully all that the future will hold once I’m an empty nester but I know that time will present opportunities to step away from comfort and be more purposeful in m living. From Intentional to purposefully journeying.
I know I’m not the only single mom/woman in a state of suspension. Between the here and now. We aren’t complaining about our current assignment but we aren’t yet satisfied that we are living our best lives after parenting. We aren’t solely focused on being wifed or making millions but being used by the Creator to share our story and the lessons we’ve learned in hopes that someone is inspired. I want someone to see the way God has made especially during the desert seasons and realize they too can live well.
There’s so much more to come here. Thank you for your patience as I move towards giving more here without sacrificing other areas of my life. Send a friend here to read old posts who needs to read transparent stories of triumph and trials and tears and joys with a whole lotta highs and lows. Oftentimes when I need it most a post will pop up and I am so moved by the words I’ve released. This is when I am doing my best work, when I am giving you raw and heartfelt writing. I am fortunate to have this gift. It ain’t perfect. I’m sure my grammar needs some work. But it’s mine and I’m honored to use it. In all things I give thanks for each time I’m able to hit publish.
In His love,