“Being
confident of this, that He who has begun
a
good work in you will carry it on
to
completion until he day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Preparation for the promise has been a
long time coming. The vision lingered because I wanted what I wanted and my
plan was my plan. This has been a 16 year process. When I say the birth of my
son is the reason I began to draw closer to Christ, it is THE TRUTH. Did I become
perfect? NO! Am I perfect now? NO! but I am committed to living a life that is
a reflection of God’s love, walking in surrender to the plan He has for me and showing
others a caring friend in Jesus not some dictator who is a figment of my
imagination shoving His will off on me. This has not been easy. There were so
many paths I could have chosen to make life easier and better (what I thought
was better) for KT and I. God’s grace kept me from choosing unwisely. Single
parenting is one of the toughest things I’ve had to do. Nights I walked the
floor trying to figure things out. Nights I laid on the floor praying and
crying. Days I smiled when I was in turmoil. I was dressed up and shattered in
a million pieces.
I kept going for KT. I stopped dreaming
for me and started seeing his life as the opportunity to get it right. To not
screw up. I poured myself into parenting. I still pour myself into parenting. The
difference now is that I realize I only temporarily suspended my dreams to help
my son reach his goals. They didn’t die. When he did or does well. I am well. When
he succeeds. I win. He’s a reflection of me and his father. We want the best
for him. More importantly, he wants the best for himself. I wholeheartedly embrace
and celebrate the fact that I created this human who is excelling. I can do so
unapologetically because I know who is with us. The journey was rough. Hard. Dark.
Dreary. A tumultuous ride. But today I can honestly say that I am alive.
I can sense the start of something new
for me and KT. It’s so exciting to be preparing for his final year of high
school and all the fun of college selection while I began to reinvent myself
for the after party. Can we say KT’s mom will be getting her groove back?
Yeppers! I am not yet who I am to be. I am evolving along with my son. I don’t
think it was a coincidence that we began a loc journey together almost 4 months
ago. That was just the beginning of what has been purposed for us unfolding. God
is intentional. He will work all things out for our good. He will restore. He will
give again and again and again.
Be steadfast. Unmovable. Be confident the
work will be completed. You and your child(ren) will reach the finish line. So
continue to press. Find some great villagers who can assist in various ways. Keep
a best friend or two that you can be real with #sisterhood. A prayer partner is a must. And
if you can/need it, therapy works wonders. Remember to dream BIG. Be fearless. See
you at the finish line. #RunForrestrun
If
you are single parenting I would love to pray for you. Email your request to KTsdivamom@gmail.com