Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Valentine's Day for the Single Moms

How’s errybody doing? It’s been a few days but the work grind has been winning, plus I’ve been trying to be consistent with working out/doing some type of exercise at least 3 days a week. It’s been a bit chilly here and that’s been throwing off 1. my fashion game and 2. being outside to stay fit and healthy. The bulk of my time when I get home in the evening is running to be at the feet of Jesus. It has taken me a long time to be unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ and be able to live out loud without guilt. I’ve lost a few things; maybe even some people along the way but it is so worth it all to know Him and to love Him.
1 Corinthians 2:2 AMP
For I resolved to know nothing (to be acquainted with nothing,
to make a display of the knowledge of nothing,
and to be conscious of nothing) among you
except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

I’ve written about being in love here and here but I wanted to come back this week as we approach Valentine’s Day to encourage those who are single. This post is by no means professional advice but what I’ve found has worked and is working for me as I grow closer to Christ and actively wait for my love story to be written (which may or may not include marriage but the lovestory is there John 3:16). So here it goes. I’ve been asked on more than one occasion how do I feel going out alone. You know dating myself. I can’t recall too many times that I’ve been asked why I’m still single until this past year and even then it wasn’t much. People respected the fact that I cared more for my son and the example I wanted to set than I did about being on some guy’s arm and having the wrong man around KT. Am I rambling? Ha haaa!

Well as friendly as I am, I’m also very adventurous which has allowed me to do so many things on my on without friends, a date or boyfriend. I have no idea where this strength came from except that it is a characteristic God placed in me long before I came to earth. I guess it’s ture that everything you need to be the best you God created is already inside. Ya just gotta tap into it. High 5 Jesus!! I’ve taken road trips alone. I’ve taken trips as a young single mom with my son. #justthetwoofus Actually, I still do. We love road trips. I go to dinner, the movies, outings, and the mall alone. It doesn’t mean I’m alone.

Truthfully, I have 2 very good friends I’ve known since preschool, I have a world of sorority sisters, I have connections with former and current coworkers, my siblings and I can stand to be around each other, lolol and an amazing church family. So you can see, I am people connected not just on social media. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t need people to live freely. We do need human connections but the most important relationship I’m coming to invest in and depend on daily is to know and love Jesus.
This morning I was thinking about the mess I had made of my life and how far I’ve come from that mess. This probably included a weepy praise break in the car on my drive to work. Whew. I am so grateful for His mercy that has been established because He decided (no credit to me) that His love would be unconditional. Romans 8:31-39 captures this so eloquently. There’s nothing I can and can’t do to change that Christ is willing to shower me with good benefits (i.e., gifts) daily.

Psalm 68:19 KJV
Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth
Us with benefits, even the God of our salvation.
I don’t have to wait until February 14th. I don’t have to try and manipulate God with prayers for a mate because I need someone sitting across the table from me at my favorite restaurant. I actually use holidays to love on myself more. I get a shopping and/or dining pass. I can do whatever I want within my budget for myself. This year KT and I are going to a movie and possible grab a bit to eat. I am working Saturday morning and I plan to use those 4 hours to love on the students who will be with me believing in my teaching skills to assist them with their reading skills.

So know that the ONE TRUE LOVER won’t show up with balloons, candy and flowers only on the 14th. If and when the man that’s being prepared for you finds you he’ll love you the way Christ does and that won’t be contingent upon gifts on Cupid’s day. It will be an everlasting and enduring love. In the meantime, enjoy yourself. Be devoted to Christ and practice commitment.

For additional Bible study see the Song of Solomon.

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Shea said...

Very well written! I honestly get tired of the "why are you single?" question. None of your dang business! lol. Honestly, I don't care about gift giving holidays. I want love and companionship everyday not just when the calendar says I am suppose to get it. However, before that can occur its important that I know my own worth, I can enjoy my own company and I know that a man will never complete me but only add to my happiness.

Demetria said...

Love this! I never get caught up in the V-day hype BC/ half of the people who have dates/husbands/significant others are generally miserable lol. I take that day to love on my daughter and myself, spend time with my friends and family, people who love me unconditionally. I'm confident that my mate is out there somewhere and don't need to waste my time coveting someone else's relationship. I truly believe God has my man in storage until he knows I'm ready to receive him.

Kerissa said...

Exactly Shea! I deserve to be pampered and cherished and loved daily. if I wait this long to allow the right one to find me and I know how much God , family and friends love, respect and honor me why would I depend on a holiday to determine my value in a relationship. I won't! Please tell em wholeness for before you can expect completeness. You attract what you are.

Kerissa said...

Once upon a time I did. Actually there was a time I hated all holidays as a single mom. It always felt like everyone forgot about me and the fact that my kid was too small to buy a card. He wouldn't make one of he didn't have help but as the years went on and I learned to appreciate what I did have and not envy someone else it became easier. Now I just make it a pamper me day. This means the bar is set high when THE man finds me. Right now, I'm focused on building.

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