Sunday, December 20, 2015

'Tis the Season



To wish you and your family the merriest of Christmases.

Christmas 2015

These photos are what you get when your church doesn't have a tree in the lobby, you don't have a photographer at the mall, you aren't paying for professional pictures and you really REALLY want to have a photo card.

Christmas 2015_2

I have this year and the next with my son and I'm making the most of it. After service we dashed to the mall and scouted for places to have a picture taken. After a while I gave up, finally a stranger offered to snap us and I felt blessed.

Christmas 2015_4

Happy Holidays!
Christmas 2015_3

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Transition

Happy Saturday loves!

Fall Maxidress_4

Initially this post was going to be titled Maxi as in dress. Yep, just another look at what I wore. But most often, when I come here to write it is because there has been something I've experienced that has taught me more about who GOD is and who I am in Him.

I have found myself at a serious crossroad regarding where I will be in the next two years. These thoughts have sometimes overwhelmed me and caused me to retreat. The same thoughts on different days have propelled me to wake up, dress up and share my gifts and talents with the world without restraint.

Ultimately, I know the answer for my future is found and the presence of the one who created me, ordained my life and already knows the outcome. The busyness of life and my own lack of discipline lately has kept me away from my War Room. I'm not saying that I haven't been praying or reading God's Word but I haven't been there as much as I have before. Acknowledged and corrected.

Fall Maxidress_1

So I've been thinking I need to make some decisions, serious decisions and prioritize how I will spend my days when I come home from work and on the weekends. I may have to choose only one form of social media to stay in contact with you all aside from the blog. Or maybe not. I don't know what the answer is yet. I know I need answers regarding where I am supposed to be so that I can feel alive and fulfilled about my contribution to the youth of this generation. I don't want to ignore the mess we've made with them.

Fall Maxidress_2

Whether it's in the classroom, in the hallways, on the street corners or a program in the church, I need to be in the center of God's will for my life and I want to be on the front lines impacting  the hearts and minds of black youth. They are important, they are more than what the media portrays, they can move past so many obstacles that I see many of the students where I teach daily face and there is greatness more than is seen right now inside of them!

Fall Maxidress_3
                                       Earrings//Old
                                       Dress//H&M
                                       Shoes//Payless
                                       Purse//Old
Searching for the place....

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

It Arrived

A chilly day came through yesterday and I was on cloud nine. I love living here in South Florida for so many reasons. The weather is definitely one of them but occasionally I want to dress like it’s Fall. Monday I got the opportunity. It was 65◦ when I left for work. I had already planned my two outfits for the short work week but when my son told me it was “cold” outside I jumped at the change to wear this skirt I thrifted about a month ago. I took Krys to Goodwill to find pieces he could wear during Homecoming week. There were some neat themes and I was glad he participated. I wasn’t planning to buy anything but some black pants to wear on Friday nights while volunteering as a band parent but this skirt was in my way. See how I did that?! Checked out and it was discounted so I paid maybe $3 or less for it. #everydaylowprice

Winter Wear

Another fine example of someone else junk being someone else’s treasure. In this case, mine. I felt like I had been to the mall and hit up Bloomingdale’s. I’m thankful for this find. See what I did there?!

Winter Wear
Tee//Target
Skirt//Thrifted
Pumps//Zara
Purse//JustFab


Have a beautiful day just because, Xo!



Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Unbirthed.


My life. My life. Not the Mary J. Blige version but I am really thinking about my life. My son has a year and a half of high school left. I have struggled with the idea to continue teaching. I even looked into teaching abroad. I can really see myself traveling and teaching. I can see myself doing a few things, heck anything but returning to a classroom. I certainly don’t want this to be a negative post because I’ve written a few of those and teaching is such an amazing gift. I just feel stifled. Exhausted. I feel overwhelmed some days. I am bored so I know the students are with the drill and practice of test standardize test prep. Those days when I do me and just teach from the heart with no mandated script are my best days. I connect with the kids. I get to hear their thoughts and be exposed to what’s really on their minds and in their hearts. Even the most difficult students are developing me in areas of patience, prayer and forgiveness.

I find so much joy and pleasure truly loving on kids. Giving beyond the textbook to those students who don’t have everyone’s attention. The ones who have the potential to be standout students, contribute to student life and even go off to college if one dedicated person was in their corner. I guess this sounds like I should be a guidance counselor or mentor role. Truth is depending on your schools needs a guidance counselor can spend very little time counseling and those who they are doing so much for are either those who are totally failing or succeeding. So I’m leaning more towards a PAID mentor role. Is that even doable?

The kids who are in the middle just slide through and are never challenged to engage. I want to be that person but I don’t really know how.  Or maybe it’s that I know how but I don’t see the opportunity clearly. I want to work with the unpolished teens and students. I want to connect them with people that I’m connected to in order to see them flourish. I’d like to use literature to reach the hearts of students who are experiencing challenges and don’t feel comfortable sharing that with anyone but can find solutions in the pages of a book like I did.

I want to walk away from my job and become the Ms. Blue that can pray with kids, check on them after school hours because someone should be able to without fear of being fired for overstepping boundaries, help them attend prom, stick it out with them if they get pregnant (I had my son my last year of college #beentheredonethat), support them through tragedy, sit with them to assist with completing a college application and so much more. But I’m afraid. That I can’t do those things and provide for me and my son. I’m afraid that to many it sounds like what is already being done even though I know it isn’t. Not enough anyway. There’s can never be too many championing for our youth.


I have this plan. I have this dream. I’ve been working on it for quite some time but it sits in my heart and head like a stubborn baby not ready to be born. I’ve written the vision. I’ve prayed over it. I’ve shared it with those I know will remind me of it when I’m tempted to give up and become complacent. I call them the protectors of my dream. I’ve looked into ways to make it happen from grant writing to working for someone else to learn more and it’s just not happening. And so I wait and while I wait I’ll mediate on this scripture:



Sunday, November 1, 2015

Mixing It Up

Animal Print Mixing_03

This post serves a twofold mission. One is for you to see my attempt at print mixing. Something I don’t often do because I’m not very comfortable with it. At least not yet.  I know I can buy coordinates that are already mixed but I’m sticking to my no buy challenge and using Pinterest and other blogs for inspiration. I really really like this skit but I had gotten bored with the white or black top I usually wear with it. I wa uable to come up with a new look so I tucked it away for a while. The last time I wore it was last year here. The shirt is a crop top that I also haven’t worn in a while. No reason, just passed it by when planning outfits. One of the rules of print mixing is to stick with the color theme. The black and white in the skirt pulled my eye towards this top. I hoped it worked. If not, oh well, I felt good and church was awesome.

The second reason I’m writing this post it to debut my new hair style. If you follow my Facebook fan page than you are already aware of this announcement. I’ve been in a rut with my hair. A tapered cut for me has run its course. I knew I wanted something different. I wanted to mix it up but I didn’t want the hassle of dealing with lose natural hair. My inspiration came from my kids. My son asked about a year ago if he could grow his hair out for locs. I was ok with the idea because I was certain he would get bored with the fro and cut it. Prior to him making this decision I had decided I would start locs for my 40th birthday. PSA: I am not 40! And there’s nothing wrong with being 40.  It was something I would announce from time to time over the years. My mom even made the attempt once and gave up. I just happen to be up extremely late one night this past week and I started pondering that my son’s confidence level shoot up the day he left the loctician. Then I thought about the fact that I had not gotten a haircut since September 2nd. I had also posted on my IG that I wasn’t planning on getting a cut anytime soon. So that was the start…

Animal Print Mixing_02

I knew I wanted long hair but not long loose hair. I have zero time to for the upkeep. So I started looking at YouTube videos. I watched a lot of them. Like a loooottttt of them. I read some blogs. Watched some more YouTube videos and then I just sat quietly going over the pros and cons. My biggest hesitation was that my sides were short and the awkward stage. At first I was gonna do shaved sides and locs on top but after asking the loctican how long they needed to be and getting the green light, I decided on a head of locs. Truth is I wear short hair well and even when growing the fro there was an awkward stage. I eventually stopped researching (I’d been up about 3 hours and had to be at work at 7:30am). Instead, I spent time praying. I try NOT to make life changing decisions without prayer. Locing isn’t cheap and once I jumped in I was gonna go all the way. I would need to endure the process. I just asked God if it was the right time and felt at peace that it was. Called the loctician the next day and was in her chair on Saturday.

Animal Print Mixing _01
Top//K-mart
Skirt//ASOS
Shoes//Aldo 
Clutch//JcPenney

I plan to share my journey here on the blog. The plan is to post every 2 months about my hair as long as something is happening. At the end of the day life is fleeting and there’s no reason to not try something different. Mix it up!


What’s something you’ve been considering do but haven’t stepped out on faith to do? What will it take for you to move?



Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Word for Wednesday: Endure the Process

I haven’t written a TWFW post in a minute so I'm bringing you one today. I am so very grateful for you coming here to read my blog. What I never want to do is come off as living the perfect life juggling single parenting, singleness and the many other hats I wear. I also want to encourage you to be okay when life happens. Read on...


A few Saturdays, I had to take Krys to school for a band event. I came home and decided to take a quick nap and then go back to pick him up. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a definitive time so I was going to wake up when he called, jump in the Incredible Hulk and scoop him. We live near the school. I’m the mom who has her cell phone on the night stand because I’m always on it. This particular day it was going off too much even though it was on vibrate.  Most of the time my phone is on silent and I just pay attention to the blinking light, but because I was extremely tired from all the homecoming activities and the long work week I turned my phone off. GASPS!! I told myself it would be for an hour. Well it was closer to 3 hours and my son was left at school for 30 minutes unable to reach me or anyone in our village to pick him up. I apologized over and over to him (as well as the auxiliary leader of his section). I was so embarrassed and frustrated.

My son is so easing going that he moved on even though I think it worried him a bit. Me? I’m still dealing with feelings of guilt. I try to have a balance. I always always put him first. My life and activities are centered around his life. That’s not a complaint. That’s my job as a parent. This truth didn’t keep me from feeling like a total flop of a mommy. Add to that the stress of work and I was ready to move to a remote area and live off the land. I was so done with fighting to hold things together and pretending to like my job, myself and where I was in life. In the midst of this storm, I never stopped going before the Lord. I kept praying and pouring my heart out. Like David and Paul and Joseph and others in the Bible who faced difficulties.

I can only compare this to feeling like I’ve was living in a pressure cooker. Life had really gotten the best of me. It left me wondering if I was portraying a life of perfection as a single mom. That is far from my truth. Some days I just want to quit. Some days I wish whatever I did wrong to be single at 38, I hadn’t done. There are days I long for relief and help. Days I want my feet rubbed. I have days I wish I was coming home to dinner already prepared. A moment or two that I wish my son had driver’s license and we had two vehicles so I can take off my mom taxi hat. So many wishes that I was using my energy to elevate the problem rather than a solution. Even if all those problems were solved there would be others. That’s life.  The decision I needed to make was to withstand the pressure and come out much better than before or stay upset, frustrated and overwhelmed by focusing on chaos in my life.

It is said foods prepared in a pressure cooker have more deep and complex flavor. That it is good for foods that need to be tenderized.  It is also called a fast cooker. How does this relate to me or you? Well think of the pressure cooker as life’s trials and obstacles. Sometimes there are few. Other times there are moments of testing where it seems like you are being bombarded with troubles. Remember my post from this summer here and here? God is the chef. He is aware of what you or I can handle. When I feel the fire being turned up I have to appreciate that God is tenderdizing (ok, preparing) me from a shining moment just like the meal you will have when you open the pressure cooker. Trials are the things that add flavor to our character. Different spices give different tastes. When we are in the pressure cooker, life will sprinkle a little more seasoning on us. We have the opportunity to respond in a positive or negative manner. Our response is what determines if we have passed the test. Add the wrong spice and you can ruin a meal. Add the right flavor and you have a signature dish. The pressure cooker can’t do the work alone. The Chef has to include all the right ingredients to create perfection.

This Sunday after really surrendering to God all that I was feeling because I was emotionally spent I found solace in His word. I must endure the cross to get my crown. I am not exempt from suffering because I am a Christian. No one is exempt from bad things happening. We’ve all heard the saying, God didn’t promise this walk would be easy but He did promise to be with us.” Right? Life as a mom of a high school teenager is HUGE task. Teaching this generation of kids is an  E N O R M O U S task but I had to remind myself that I was called to this position for this season. Because Christ is with me, I won’t fail. I won’t be defeated. I can’t afford to quit.

If you are a single parent or just experiencing the pressure of life do know that a moment of peace and clarity is on the way. Remain prayerful. Don’t hold back when talking to God. Tell him exactly how you feel. Share with a trusted love one so you don’t fall into a depressed state. Do what you can and forget about the rest. My life won’t fall a part because I am living out of the laundry basket or the towels are folded but not put away. I don’t have merry maids on speed dial. I want Krys to drive now because he can’t but when he does I’ll have the added pressure of insurance for him and being worried about his safety on the road. So I’ve decided to rest. To be a peace. To not explode because the pressure cooker does its work quickly. This too shall pass.




Monday, October 26, 2015

Love for Leaves

Leafy

Leafy

Leafy
Tee//Target
Culottes//H&M
Sandals//Amazon

I know for some of you the weather is changing and you are starting to lightly layer. I know these pants scream spring and summer but y’all know where I live. Sunny South Florida. Plus they were $7 bucks on the clearance rack. A size too small but hey if I squeeze the elastic waist up and not look squished, I am winning. I WON!

Wore this look to church last Sunday and wore the pants refashioned to work today that I posted on the Gram here.


Happy Monday!



Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Another One

Urban League of PBC NULITES Luncheon. 10.19.15

I'm back with another dress from ASOS. Another wiggle dress. I'm becoming a fan of professional form fitted dresses because, well because I like my curves LOL!!

Urban League of PBC NULITES Luncheon. 10.19.15

I find these dresses to be in line with my love for Former First Lady Jackie Kennedy fashion and reasonably priced. The sizes aren't always accurate. I have 2 different sizes in the 3 wiggle dresses I own.

 Urban League of PBC NULITES Luncheon. 10.19.15

The occasion? I attended the Urban League of Palm Beach County's Youth Empowerment Luncheon featuring MSNBC and NBC's Tamron Hall  and Palm Beach State College first female  President Ava L. Parker. #blackgirlsrock #blackgirlmagic

My son has been a member of this 5 time award winning chapter since the 6th grade. N.ational U.rban L.eague I.ncentives T.o E.xcel & S.ucceed is a youth program established on the premise that young people are our most valuable resource. They are! The chapter participates in activities throughout the community and is led by award winning Affiliate of the Year, Mrs. Gloria Scott. Congratulations!!!!!

As a parent, I am honored my son has been afforded the opportunity to be a part of this program and it's FREE. What better way to celebrate and support their biggest fundraising event than by showing up divamom style. I even got a lil fancy with my face. #beatbyme

Urban League of PBC NULITES Luncheon. 10.19.15

Visit my FB fan page for more photos. Click the link above. 




Wednesday, October 14, 2015

single, saved, secure and sequins

SINGLE, SAVED, SECURE & sequins_details2

I rarely write about being single here on the blog. I’ve mentioned I’m a single mom and assumed that you all knew I am not dating anyone. I briefly dated this summer but there were no fireworks. Nothing newsworthy that sent me to the blog to share here with you. I’m of the mindset that entertaining random guys won’t serve me well. It would be a distraction from focusing on my relationship with Christ. So no juicy story. There’s a series that I have been watching on YouTube called Dating With Purpose created by blogger Ashley that has been influential in my outlook on dating God’s way. About a year ago, I decided that I wanted to date intentionally and made this a goal. It has been both good and bad. I met a really really nice guy this summer whose company I was able to enjoy for a week. Yeah that’s all. He disappeared one day and resurfaced two days later and said we should friends. I blocked him and never looked back.

I’m not going to use my writing space here to give credit to the negativity surrounding dating in this day and age or how weird grown men act when it comes to pursuing. I do know that I am worth a God kind of love. Because of this I am focused on my relationship with Christ, getting my son through high school and off to college, growing into a Proverbs 31 woman, what I call actively waiting to be found by the One God is keeping and has for me and seeing some dreams manifest. This tee I’m wearing speaks volumes to where I am in my relationship status.

SINGLE, SAVED, SECURE & sequins_details

Before you roll your eyes and wonder girl how are you secure lemme go ahead and tell you that being secure  doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in the market to meet someone. It does mean that I’m loving, living and enjoying life. I'm where I'm suppose to be in this season. That i believe that God's provision is really available. That's security! You know what they say. If you aren’t loving, living and enjoying life alone when another person comes into your life, you’ll still be attempting to capture feelings of peace about where you.

Now on to the outfit that I LOVE. The tee is from Ashley’s line. You can get it here. The skirt is a silk sequin thrifted that I won’t be wearing again because I busted the seat today. At church in the studio. Good thing I was wearing this vest that I picked up yesterday from Target. I’ve been wanting a sleeveless vest for some time. They have white/cream but it looked cheap. Next time I’ll iron it. #dontjudgeme I needed to be on time for church.

SINGLE, SAVED, SECURE & sequins
Tee// www.AshleyEmpowers.com
Vest// Target
Skirt// Thrifted
Clutch// Love Cortnie
Shoes// Delicious via Amazon
Bracelets// Alex & Ani

Now about the photos. Now that the blog has had a face lift, I knew it was time to whip out my camera. Nothing fancy. I own a Cannon Powershot. It takes great photos and gets the job done. I took these myself using a tripod. As you can see the full body shots came out blurry. Any advice to correct this. I search Amazon for a remote but no luck. DSLRs are what’s hot so the accessories are plentiful. Unfortunatley, I’m not ready for that level. I’ll play around some more with self photography. I’ll get it right.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful remainder of the week!

SINGLE, SAVED, SECURE & sequins2



Monday, October 12, 2015

EVENT RECAP: Pink Strydes Fashion Show

August 18 was one of the worst days I had to endure this year. My vibrant, funny, fashionable, kept it real and 100 with everyone and everybody, sweet dear Aunt Mary passed away after a 2 year battle with cancer. It was two years ago that she and my mom received not so good news. My mom was re-diagnosed and my Aunt received her first that she was dealing with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Two years later, she was taken from us! God knew that I'd suffer too many loses in the last 3 years so He provided me with a way to channel the pain. 
 
On October 3, I was able to honor her memory, my dad’s two sisters, my two linesisters who are survivors, my mom and so many countless others have battled, are battling and earned pink wings due to this disease. These are my warrior women. Their lives and those connected to them were forever changed when the word cancer was uttered. So when I came into contact with Pink Strydes Incorporated, I knew without hesitation that I wanted to be a part of the fashion show. It was an opportunity to combine the two things I loved for a great cause and help raise funds to assist a breast cancer patient and celebrate the survivors they honor.
 
I came on board as a volunteer to do social media. I knew it was something I could contribute and it wouldn’t be a burden to my already full plate. This role allowed me to give back doing something I spend hours doing daily. Can I tell you the COO was pleased and so was I. I had a helper, Natalie, a high school student who handled Instagram all night. She was phenomenal!
 
The highlight of the event for me personally was being able to be on the runway and lead all the women in the Pinky Swear pledge for the Pinky Swear Ceremony. This is when the audience takes an oath to have breast exams every year. I had my first mammogram on my mom’s birthday. Weeks after we buried my Aunt, her sister. The results were normal but it was painful. Yes the exam hurt but it felt like I was reliving my Aunt taking that walk and getting the news that would ultimately claim her life. When I came off stage. I cried. I miss her and them so much. #Ihatecancer
 
I challenge each of you to take control of your health. Know your history. Give self-breast exams to your tatas. Ask your doctor for a referral. It’s scary but early detection is key. So many more women are winning the battle. There’s hope. Get pinked.

See more photos in my Facebook album. Click on the FB button to like my page.




Monday, October 5, 2015

I Remember When Black Folks Had It Together!




If only black folks would get themselves together. I never thought I’d write a post and sling mud but honey little Troykavious and Jackquensia are no angels. They are making my life extremely difficult and have doused a bucket full of ice water on my love for young people. The same ones I’ve prayed for and stood up for in the community when folks would say negative things. No longer. I quit. The chirren have fired me from my caring, I believe in you position. I can no longer support ignorance, disrespect and the foolery.


I remember a long long long time ago that if you threated to call someone’s parents they would sit the heck down and stop whatever misbehaving they were doing so the learning could continue. Now they ask if you want them to call so it can be done and over with. Often times when you call parents they are trying to tell a story about what the kid told them. Mind you TK and Que have a 3% average like they were being given out that day as a reward
I remember a long long long time ago when you couldn’t pay a kid to walk around with underwear showing and butt cracks out. Now everyone is beating everyone doing it. Males and females alike. Then have the audacity to look at you sideways when you get them confused. Belts aren’t for spankings nor holding your pants up. And if you remind them where their natural waist line is, they hold the pants up with their hands until they are out of your view. OR…they use the belt to strap the pants mid-waist. They even show up like this to church or formal events.

I remember a long long long time ago when respect in the black community was expected because of the reverence we held for our seniors and the love we had for our parents or guardians, each other and the neighborhood. Now we demand it like thugs do on the streets. Children will say the most disgusting things with the expectation that you yield your position and respond to their demands. BUT only because this is the way they are being reared at home. The Bible speaks candidly of spoiling your children. They will and I type this with certainly someday turn around and display the same disrespectful behavior towards the hand that feeds them if not worse. I’m just gonna sit back and wait for that day to arrive.

I have no empathy for the mom who says she can’t do anything with the child(ren) she bore in anguish and pain. Good for you. I just pray both of you wake up before you meet a horrendous fate. Attempting to correct a child who has the mindset of an adult because they have been allowed to be an adult has never and I could be wrong gone well. Read the newspaper. There are too many kids being tried in the justice system as adults. Not because they are. Bot because thy did adult things just because. They were acting like one and lucked on adult consequences. Too late! Note: I’m not referring to children who have to step up and advocate for themselves and help care for younger siblings. 

Look children don’t ask to be born but they don’t come here programmed to become wonderful adults and citizens. That’s why they have you to guide them and help them figure out this thing called life. Black folks always sent their kids at their best out of the home to represent the family. Now that the family structure is destroyed and homes are so dysfunctional, most of the adults are just glad the child isn’t at home. 


Image from Pinterest
We can give all the excuses we want but my recent experiences have nothing to do with being poor, uneducated or the police. It is simply that black folks need to do better. Other folks do too but I’m not representing for them. I can’t explain to you what it feels like to think that the young people I’m surrounded by will be ok in some shape, form or fashion if I’m not around. I want to be as far far away from the negative as possible for my own peace of mind.  I can’t even answer the question who is going to stay in the fight if not me because I’m to injured to stay in this fight. So the answer is definitely not me. At some point I must separate myself from what I know I am doing, can do, what I desire to do and what I’m up against. How long can I hold onto the good old days when parenting mattered in the black community? This wasn’t just a mom or dad but the village. Now the village will celebrate the tragic, nonsensical and embarrassing trifling behavior a kid is doing and dare you to correct it. Well until black folks get it together I’m checking out on my people.  





Saturday, September 26, 2015

Meet Me At The Crossroad

Image from Pinterest

What do you do when all you’ve ever believed and thought to be true about your journey in life appears to be a lie, the wrong path and something you so desperately want to walk away from even though you can’t? What do you do when heart is on life support because others have trampled, smashed and slammed down the optimism you once had and what’s left is doubt, worry and frustration. That’s how I feel about teaching. For years and years, I would tell myself I was built for this career. That I’d outlast most of the powerful people because eventually they’d make enough money to live comfy, retire and stop pretending to care about black kids in failing schools. I longed for the day when Superman would really show up and help us (educators) regain respect, control of our classrooms and jump start our hearts. 

Image from Pinterest

For some this may have happened. For me, it has been a constant battle to believe that I matter and that what I do matters. I’ve waited for someone else to see that we can teach kids to pass standardized state test in packs but unless they qualify for college or a career, these same kids will still end up on the corner, working meager jobs or killed at the hands of each other and police. There is a direct correlation and I’m not going to argue the never ending school to prison pipeline. It really does exists!  I’m just sharing that I’m a crossroad with nowhere to go. No other possible job leads. I’m not financially fit where I can afford to take a substantial leave. Hell, I’m a teacher and I’ve never seen performance pay. I’m not even sure where to begin to reinvent myself.

I know there’s other teachers or other careers who have moved on when the joy of showing up to work had completely diminished. I know some of you reading this may have at some point in life been courageous enough to throw caution to the wind and jump into new territory but I’m terrified. That’ll I fail at what I’d really like to do. What I know I can do. That I can’t make a generous income serving our youth. Yes, many others are doing it. I’ve read all the memes that tell me if you are doing what you love it won’t be work. How I’d wake up each morning with a spring in my step ready to take on the day. Teaching takes a great deal of work. I’ve wrote about this many times here. But this time is different. I can’t shake the funk. The second guessing myself that I’ve stayed too long. The only time I feel like myself is when I’m actually teaching what isn’t being dictated to reflect what my neighbor 3 doors down is doing at the same minute, hour, second with the same materials with no deviation from the plan or boom I got you. Really (gives a Phadrea face)?! 

Image from Pinterest
For as long as I can remember teaching was my thing. I played school as my childhood game of choice even though my cousins and siblings wanted to stuff me behind the couch and do something else. I started teaching little babies from the atechism in church when I was just a few years younger than them. I’ve had college trained Pastors tell me I have a gift to make things current and relatable to the children. I even had a Principal write it on my evaluation. So part of what I’m feeling is me, losing my touch for so many reasons.


We are hard pressed on every side, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not in despair persecuted,
but not abandoned; struck down,
but not destroyed.  2 Corinthians 4:8-9


And so I find myself after 11 years back in my #WarRoom seeking direction. Releasing my cares and worries to the One who planned my life and holds the outcome in his hands. I’m waiting to hear what’s next. I really do hope there’s a next and soon. Cause all I want do is love on kids and teach them what I can so they in turn can become critical thinkers to survive in a world that doesn’t value teachers or them. What good is success on a test if you can’t succeed in life? We have still missed it with our educational system and my tiny voice has been drowned out by the noise of this is just the way it is. Am I really suppose to accept that? I often times envy those who are indifferent. I wish my heart wasn’t invested. Not really.





Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Burgundy Meets Nude and Black








Sunnies//Versona
Top//Old
Skirt//ASOS
Clutch//JcPenny
Shoes//Just Fab

This is how you dress when you want to partake in Fall trends but you won't dare to wear any type of Fall clothing because it's going to be sunny until January maybe later. Winter who? The only thing you'll find me doing on the regular to embrace Fall is wear a vampy lip. Actually I've done this all summer. I am not a fan of fall fashion. I do own boots and coats and even a few long sleeve sweaters but I rarely wear them. If you follow me on Instagram you'll see this color combo is quickly becoming a fave. I was once the blogger who owned a lot of blue, then red and now burgundy or oxblood (which ever is your preference). I think I'll style this skirt with gray the next time I decide to wear it. And I can always do gold to rep for the best college in the state, FSU.

By the way, these were taken 2 Sundays ago. I've been so busy and unable to post. I'm volunteering with a nonprofit that's hosting it's 6th annual fashion show to support breast cancer patients and survivors. If you're in the area and interested in attending you can get a ticket here www.PinkStrydes.org. I'll be working behind the scenes handling social media.


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