Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Matchy Matchy


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Earrings: Bakers 
Top: Forever 21
Belt: Thrfited
Skirt: Banana Republic (very very old)
Shoes: Jessica Simpson's Waleo

I am so not a fan of matching from head to toe. I don’t know if you would even consider this look extremely matchy matchy but the color of the top and shoes were dead on. AND I LOVED IT! I wore this Monday and probably should have used that day to bring out something from my winter stash but I didn’t. We had a cool day. The morning started off in the 50s. The temp reached about 70. It was definitely a bit chilly. Not cold at all. Some of the studnets took it a bit far with jackets and gloves, lolol!! A few co workers were outside in the courtyard shivering but I was just fine since I was remained inside the school all day. As much as I love seeing other bloggers layering and changing out their wardrobes, I’m not a fan of cold weather. Burrrr....

In hair news, Karrie is growing. Can you tell? Maybe I should do a post with comparions pics. I’m looking forward to celebrating the one year grow out mark next month. I'm currently obsessed with seeing my coily hair start to hang. Whenever that will be (sighs). I've learned my tightly coiled hair grows up first then down. Yeah, I should probably stay off Youtube but I'm addicted to natural hair info. I’m thinking about giving away some products to another natural who is a follow of the blog. I won’t say my fav products because I’m still learning my hair even though I’ve been natural on and off more than 3 times. I’m also not a product junkie but I am a fan of Shea Moisture products. This line is reasonably priced so I may consider doing a giveaway with some goodies. Or maybe I'll treat myself to a natural hair salon visit. Wow, Karrie getting professionally pampered. That would be really nice!

What did you do to celebrate your one growth mark? 



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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Casual

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Earrings: Gifted
Shirt: Thrifted
Belt: Men's dept at H&M
Boyfriend jeans: Target
Wedges: Steve Madden via TJ Maxx

Well today is Tuesday but I took these last Thursday before I took my braids down. I'm enjoying having my hair in a protective style. It really helps me out in the mornings when I am preparing for work. I always awake on time but it takes me at least two hours to get ready. Yes, I prepare my clothes the night before. Lately I've been blaming it on Karrie (my hair). I refuse to go out with my fro looking like it was fried in the desert so I always fluff her a bit, well a lot before I head off out.

If you are wondering where I've been I do have an answer. Life has kept me busy. The sororal year has started and we have events monthly. Delta Sigma Theta is truly about service! KT is headed to high school so we've been discussing, researching and looking at high schools to apply to. Actually today we sent off his application. I'm proud to say I allowed the man child to decide what school he wanted to be his first choice and what his program of interest will be. I can't believe I'll have a high schooler next year!

I've also been trying to mentally prepare for the holidays. I'm not looking forward to them. I usually spend that time home with my mom and visiting my Granny but this year will be very different. My birthday is in a 3 months and I'm totally stoked that I'll be with the besties again. I love those girls as if we were blood sisters.

I'm praying more, still healing and watching old episodes of Criminal Minds daily. I'm so addicted! I would make some promises about the blog but I've learned that blogging is what I make of it. Those who want to be here for the journey will. I so appreciate you!!!! Those who need something more will find it in another blog. I do this because it gives me a voice, an outlet on the web to just be me. My creative spot.

Lately my fashion sense has taken a nose dive. No creativity at all. I blame it on not being able to shop.  I stand in my closet and just look at all the shoes and clothes I have and I still can't come up with anything that makes me feel posing for the camera. I know that's bad. I'll do better although I'm sure you understand right?

Enjoy the day.



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Monday, October 29, 2012

Gripped by Grief


When my Grandmother passed 2 months ago, my world was shattered. I was shattered. My faith in God was shaken to the core. I remember two weeks after her burial, I was speaking to my mom on the phone. I told her I couldn’t understand why God didn’t hear my prayers for my Granny. This may seem strange coming from a believer but it was exactly how I felt.

I believed in the power of prayer. I had witnessed miracles in the lives of others for so many things. There was physical healing, jobs found, homes purchased, marriages restored and yet my Granny died. I was deflated. There were times I was angry.  More than that I felt guilty. I asked God what did I not do to deserve her being here with me., with us. Here keeping my family together. I wondered why my Granny was taken  away from me. I wondered why he answered my prayers for so many others but called my Granny from this present earth.

I felt like Job (Chapter 6). The burden was so heavy that I stopped praying. That’s when the fear set in. I started to think that if I prayed for someone and things didn’t work out a certain way, I would feel responsible. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I still took prayer request but I would always be sure to share them with the prayer team so I didn’t have to personally pray over them. I was a complete and total mess!!!

Earlier this month, I attended a memorial service for an older gentleman I worked with during my first 4 years teaching. One thing his Pastor said slapped me upside my head. He mentioned grieving too long for someone who lived a full life. My Granny lived a full 94 years. She didn’t transition from the earth in a nursing home or a hospital. She was at home surrounded by family. That in itself was a blessing. I saw her two weeks before she died. That was a blessing. My broken heart was blocking me from seeing the good years. I was stuck mentally in seeing her outer shell and not the fond memories I have in my heart.

Slowly I am beginning to realize that God is too accurate in His doings to drive me away from him. I’m beginning to see my prayers for my Granny weren’t about her physical well. They were more about disciplining me. He’s building character and my faith. I share this with you to encourage someone else today. I’m very transparent in my relationship/my walk with the Lord. If we/the church continue to pretend everything is peaches and cream, those who are watching won’t see the need for a loving Heavenly Father.

Today I can acknowledge that guilt and fear left me shattered in millions of pieces. The good news is God loves me (and you). I won’t always be in this place. Last night I cried myself to sleep, woke up, attended church and was reminded once again that God will never ever leave me in this place. I miss her more than I can ever put into words. I’m aware in time this pain will ease. Fresh air will enter my life again.

If you are dealing with fear and/or guilt. If you are broken by life. Keep going forward. Don’t stop moving even when you can’t see clearly how to put one foot in front of the other. There’s someone watching and waiting for you to overcome so they can celebrate with you. Victory is just around the corner! 

This song has encouraged me when I've had those moments where I could do nothing but cry. My Granny loved God and she wouldn't want me to lose my praise. 





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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Inspired to be WILD

Saw this look on Facebook and had to recreate it. If you know the lovely individual who shared her photo, please thank her for the inspiration:

leopard and green

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Top: H&M
Skirt: Dots
Belt: Dots
Handbag: Thrifted
Shoes: Ralph Lauren via Consignment Boutique

Enjoy your Sunday afternoon. I usually spend my day with the man child over dinner and a movie. He's taking a nap while I finish up dinner.  I mentioned earlier in the week I was looking forward to my a nap but not today. It's too late to crawl into bed and I really need to spend a bit of quiet time journaling (something I haven't done in a very long time) or just listening for clarity. 

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Roadblocks

As a blogger, you get dressed, grab your camera and smile. But I wonder how many times we’ve done so while in pain or frustrated with just plain old life. I have? I’m doing so now. I won’t quit though because blogging gives me a reason to keep going. For those of you who started with me when this blog was created I was a graduate student pursing a PhD in Education. A dose of reality kicked in and I decided that I would pursue another direction and that was counseling. Most of my previous jobs have been working with youth. I love it! Are you thinking she’s an educator and I have a classroom full of youth? I wish that was the case. Too much political red tape. Even guidance counselors don’t spend much time counseling.

Life keeps happening and bringing some not so pleasant moments. I know there are other people in this country with a struggle far greater than mine. I know there are individuals fighting to stay alive and I am not. I know there are students who have never attended college and I’ve graduated twice from two different ones . What I’m doing here is counting my blessings, acknowledging the good things that God has bestowed upon me. But I still dream. I dream B I G. And hard. And it won’t go away. But it isn’t manifesting either. 

I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m trying to work my way through the struggle of being a single mom. Of the monies sometimes not being enough for just the fun things I’d like to do. Trips I’d love to take with the kid. Or the worrying that I’m placing too high expectations on my own son in hopes that he will avoid my mistakes and have a much better life.

When I see, hear or read commentary that you should go out and make your dreams happen. Folks demanding that you don’t quit. Chants that repeat find a way, I get irritated. Not because the message isn’t right. Not because I’m being lazy. I’m mad at this roadblock in my own life. If my salary allowed me to do so I’d pay my way through grad school but how many people can write checks for a doctoral program? I’m mad because I’ve prayed and cried and begged for a sign, change, opportunity to move grow, to expand and become!

Are there things I would do differently now that I’ve reaped/am reaping the harvest of choices I've made previously. Certainly so and without question. But I’m right here in this moment. This time and place. Not just wishing and praying for something to happen. I’m being told no on every attempt. I’m banging my head against concert walls. I’m clawing and climbing only to slide down again as if I’m living on a slippery slope.

What’s a girl to do?




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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Something Old

Happy Hump Day folks! I wish that we could hump right into the weekend. I'm so ridiculously tired and can't wait until after church on Sunday to take a nap. Yep, that's how far away my nap day is. This week has been busy. One thing that helps me is preparing my clothes for the week ahead on the weekend. I've now taken it to the extent of pulling out the shoes and accessories as well. I haven't taken this dress for a spin in awhile. It's another of my favorite thrifted treasures. 

What I love about it is the cut. I slims at the bottom and hugs me just right in the hips. Reminds me of my mother in her younger days. And anything that screams mom in her go get em days is a definite win! For me this look was outside the box. It felt right and I didn't over-think it. 


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 What about you? Are you a nap person? 

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Sunday, October 7, 2012

Back to Me


Hope everyone is having a swell Sunday. I can honestly say that I am having a good day. There haven’t been many but today no lately I’ve been able to feel healing taking place in my inwardly. There have been so many wonderful people who have prayed for me when I was unable to pray for myself. Individuals who only saw me in passing have stopped me at church and shared encouraging words that have helped me to arrive at this place and lift my spirit.

I’m so grateful for the lessons I’m learning along the way. One thing that has come from the dark days are posts that I haven’t shared here yet. Initially I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be so open and venerable.  As I considered this, I thought about why I started this blog.  I realized that when I wrote from the heart (with or without pictures showing what I wore) is when I received the most comments. Those were the times my readers were encouraged in some way and that’s why I’m here.

In the near future, I plan to get back to those type posts. I’m not afraid to be genuine, real and raw here. Afterall, it is my blog and my story/testimony might save someone’s life. I'm looking forward to you being here for more of the journey. 

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Wore this to church today:
Earrings: Aldo
Skirt: Thrifted
Ring & Tee: Forever 21
Shoes: Jessica Simpson
Bangles: Various
Studded Clutch: Marshalls






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Thursday, October 4, 2012

Pink Thursday

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Earrings & Necklace: Thrifted
Chambray Shirt: Boys section in Target
Bangles: Various
Skirt: Marshalls (Old)
Shoes: Steve Madden via Marshalls


Today was Pink Thursday at work to support National Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was beautiful to see the entire student body and staff moving through the halls in a sea of pink. 

I lost two Aunts to breast cancer so this is near and dear to my heart. My family has encountered a few scares that turned out well thank God. I've made it a priority to have yearly breast exams and the BRCA screening. 

As women we tend to take care of others without putting ourselves first. Take the time to rest. Be renewed. If you know someone battling breast cancer step in and lend a hand. Be sure to click on the link above and find out more information. 

Thanks so much for stopping by!

UPDATE: I've mentioned that I am a part of a wonderful Facebook group called BLMGirls. We've decided to host a Blog Hop here & dedicate a post this month to awareness and fundraising to help find a cure for breast cancer. Please take time to visit my fellow bloggers and make others aware of our efforts.


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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Twisted

Sunday night I decided to attempt a twistout on my hair after attending the natural hair event sponsored Saturday by Naturals in the Sun. Lo & behold, it turned out really nice. I liked the look here better than I did on my Instagram photo I posted earlier in the day. 

You can read what I've been using on my hair lately here. This is my first successful twistout! Celebration time come on (does the doogie), LOL :) I plan to have my entire head of hair twisted and pinned up in an updo as soon as I can catch up with my stylist. So stay tuned for the Karrie adventure. 

Until the next post, here's the do: 

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Earrings: Francesca’s
Top:Forever 21
Skirt: Thrifted
Shoes: Jessica Simpson


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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Hang Time with Naturals in the Sun


Saturday I was able to hang out with some fellow naturals who are also BLMGirls. Let me tip my hat to my blogger pals, Schea at Curves & Confidence for the invite & fantastic photos (you can check out her post here), Roodlyn at Anointed Heels for tagging along with me and Ashley of A Sassy Woman for meeting us later for lunch and a tiny bit of shopping.

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The Naturals in South Florida held a one year anniversary celebration hosted by the lovely YouTube natural hair guru Charjay who I was able to meet as well as Danyelle aka MsDainty1. Danyelle is a fellow Seminole and can beat her face to perfection. There were so many beautiful women in the room with every shape, size, styled, color and texture of natural hair. I wanted to do a fist pump and say loudly, “I’m natural and I’m proud!”

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I’m really stoked that Karrie stood up for the event. Y’all know I’ve been in a love/hate relationship with this thick head of head that seems to never curl/coil and shrinks to a size zero. I kid not! Early in the week I decided to try two new products: Curls Unleased curl defining cream and the moisturizing conditioner. My hair hated the conditioner and has done well with the curl defining cream. I went back to my tested, tried and true Elasta QP mango & olive oil butter. My hair likes thick creamy styling products.

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Once concern is buildup but I’ve managed to find the right combo over the last few days. So far, so good. I wet my hair at night to set it for bed so I only have to moisten it in the am. For the look featured here. I used the LOC method (liquid, oil and cream) after washing, added my oil mix to the wet hair, added the Elasta QP butter, then the curl defining cream and rubbed it down the sections of my strands until my curls were poppin’ as we say in the natural hair world. I sealed with Softee castor oil grease and viola I was ready for the event.

I received so many compliments that after a successful twistout on Monday, I rewet my hair and returned it back to this style although my twistout photographed well. Stay tuned to see it tomorrow.

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Earrings: Aldo
Sunnies: Thrifted
Tank: Forever 21
Denim Jacket:  Marshalls
Pants: Kmart
Bangles: Charming Charlie
Ring: Plato’s Closet
Watch: Fossil via Macy’s
Clutch: TJMaxx
Shoes: Sam Edleman via TJMaxx



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