Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Lessons From Whitney Houston


I’m a big texter but Saturday night I received a text that rocked my world to its very core. Yep, when I heard and confirmed via Twitter and Facebook that Auntie Whitney Houston had transitioned; I cried for three hours. One of those was spent listening to her songs on Pandora, the radio and pulling out my cds. I danced, I sang to the top of my lungs off key and I lay across my bed and cried uncontrollably.

But let me back up so you can understand why I reacted to her death as I did (cause I know you are giving me the WTW ?!?! look).Especially since I’d never met her or seen her in concert or even blogged about her as one of my favorite celebrities.  I snatched up the phone after it was confirmed, called my mom and sobbed into the phone while asking her why weren’t we able to save one of God’s precious children? Where were the folks that were in her Hollywood on top of the world I’m rich and famous circle that should have flush the drugs down the toilet or dragged her to rehab as her mom Mrs. Cissy Houston had once done? This was the question I asked Moms and I’m still asking folks. AND AWAITING AN ANSWER TO.

Yes I know it isn’t that easy. I know first hand! All to well the demons, the look, the pull and the hold. I’m not a user but a daughter of one. I can understand Bobbi Kristina from this perspective. No my father wasn’t known worldwide but everyone in my community knew. The students and staff at my school  knew. I hated the drug abuse. There were days I hated him. What it did to our family. To my MOM. To me. On the other hand, I’ve never explored drugs. I haven’t desired a taste of cocaine or crack. Being surrounded by drugs, living in a small town with nothing much to do and enough crime to keep the wanna bes entertained provided me the opportunity to fail but I didn’t.

I feel it is an appropriate time to say: “Lord, thank you for your amazing grace.”

Not because I am better or was stronger than our dear sister Whitney. God heard the prayers of my mother (THANK YOU MOM)!!!! Just like I believe he heard Mama Cissy’s cry to rescue her daughter. My heartaches to know the power of a praying mother ended in what we see as tragedy. But the truth is GOD rescued Whitney from the destructive path she had taken. If you follow me on Twitter @KTsdivamom I shared some lyrics today from her song “I Look To You.” She was tired. Her spirit was broken. The stage had taken her on a path her roots in gospel never intended.

What I won’t do is remember the bad days, images, comments and blog posts from the media and others who were unable to forgive her. Who am I to judge? My father is in my life. He’s been forgiven. There are strict rules for our interaction because I do not have to allow anyone in my circle who isn’t living to the standards I desire to live my best life and provide a life of stability, peace and calm for my son. What we must do is address the issue. Refuse to tolerate it. Drag the person kicking, screaming and cursing to get help. We never saw Whitney at the crackhouse. Who was her provider?

I know that by sharing this with you I am healing more. Amy Winehouse’s death triggered emotions in me that I didn’t know was there. Thankful for my sister Nikki who listened and let me cry and talk about it without judging. I want to be free. Drug use isn’t just about the abuser. Let’s be sensitive to the needs of her family and closest friends at this hour. Don’t be so judgmental. You never know who has lived this life. I did but you wouldn’t guess it from my outfit post………………………..

Forever Remembering Whitney,


Because I didn’t want this to be a gloom and doom post I decided to go ahead and share:

What I’m wearing:
Earrings, skirt (seen here) & belt: thrifted
Top: Ann Taylor Loft (Old)
Sandals: Aldo Geidiner (Birthday gift to self)
Flower in Hair: Forever 21 seen here
Handbag; Zara


Shea said...

I have dealt with drug use in my family as well, from immediate family members. I have other issues that I will admit stay hidden and I wouldn't ever tell anyone not because of shame but probably because I would have to deal with them myself.

I am tired of all the people that sudden have so much to say now that she is gone, where were you when she was here!!! Don't talk that talk now.

I love the color combination that you are wearing, your mint skirt is really pretty.

Anonymous said...

Love the post!! Thank you for sharing your feelings and your experience. P.S. Those shoes are hotness!!!

kRb said...

The key is FORGIVENESS. We all need to receive it and give it. Who knows what Whitney said in her final moments. Maybe she cried out to God for forgiveness, in the midst of all the craziness, and the awesome thing is in that moment she would have been forgiven! What an AWESOME God :) People will hold this over her memory but God sees her as His daughter, forgiven and loved. Thank you for the post it speaks volumes. And I love the skirt!

Nekiah Torres said...

I praise God for putting this on your heart to share with us! Your experience with an addict has helped soften your heart to other addicts because you know the struggle and you have felt the pain. It is amazing how God takes our trails and hardships and uses them for His Glory! The story of your father's addiction is a sad one and I know it was very hard on your family but it was all for a purpose. Now you have a testimony to share with others...let God use you! I feel so bad for Whitney and Michael and Amy because I think to myself "Didn't anybody love them enough to FORCE them into rehab!" It is not that easy. One must want to help oneself in order to truly recover because at the end of the day we all must face our own demons head on. This is a battle that only you and God can fight. I am so thankful that my little experiment with drugs did not turn into addiction. Looking back I know that God has always had His hand on me and I just gotta say...THANK YOU! Kiah

One Womans Style Evolution said...

First of all I would like to commend you for sharing this with us. We all know someone who is dealing with addiction. This problem is larger than people realize because its no longer confined to a specific neighborhood or substance. Just last week one of my co-workers broke down and told us how she discovered her new boyfriend snorting XANAX in her house. I didn't even know people could get high off of anti-depressants. I am glad you shared your story. Hopefully it will touch someone and let them know that in lieu of masking their pain, that there are alternatives to finding inner peace and happiness. For anyone who is reading this and knows or suspects someone that they care about is struggling with this,call them out on it!

MrsTDJ said...

This was beautiful sis! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us. I'm still devastated and heartbroken over her death. She is resting now with eternal peace. My prayers remain with her family, especially Bobbi Kris.

Gorgeous_Puddin said...

It's really sad that drug abuse has been a part of the black experience. I too have family members whom I've lost to drug abuse and some who are still caught in addiction. I am no judge. That would be like the pot calling...

Whitney Houston's death is a tragic tragic loss. My heart goes out to Cissy and Bobbi Kristina and the rest of their family. RIP

I love your skirt and I'm a toe ring girl too! :)

Whitney 'Nic' James said...

deep post, but very heartfelt. thanks for sharing. i agree 100% that no one should judge whitney, or anyone for that matter. we all have fallen short...but i can smile and be ok knowing that whitney is for sure in a better place. her relationship with God was no secret, and that puts me at ease. i pray for her daughter and mother, and the res of the family...we don't know their hurt but only God can comfort them.


ps on a lighter note, i love the color of your skirt as well as the accessories!

LifenotesEncouragement said...

beautiful post...
on a lighter note - where'd you get those them

Kerissa said...

Thank you all for reading my story, sharing your story and sending me love, encouragement and support. I know I am becoming a better me when I share my testimony & lives are enriched. XoXo!

LV said...

Thank you for sharing this. I have seen drug abuse destroy a lot of people around me. I am heartbroken over Whitney's passing and the world has lost a a great talent, but her music lives on. I love the song: I look to you. Very powerful.

And I want to add that you look beautiful and that is a gorgeous skirt you are wearing.

Tia Lou said...

Love this outfit and the shoes!!!

shopnowsavelater said...

I want the skirt, belt and most of all the shoes! Those shoes put this entire outfit on a different level! For some reason pleated skirts look very weird on myself you rocked it tho, and the color looks spectac on you!

xoxo Ty

Unknown said...

luv the flower

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