Saturday, February 12, 2011

Just Keep Swimming

I’m feeling stuck! Many of you may be shocked to be reading this but it is the T.R.U.T.H. I’m not sure if I’m more frustrated with myself or with the process of where I’d like to see myself after I get some of this grad school course work under my belt.  
You know when you dream the dreams. You write them down. It’s plain and clear even though it isn’t one that will happen overnight. But mishaps happen and you feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut, leaving you in a daze and wondering if you missed GOD’S guidance! Now I’m at the point of second guessing myself again. Second guessing: The career path. Life’s direction. The next step.

Funny thing is I’m one of those driven individuals who will passionately pursue any endeavor.  I don’t mean that I’m trying to be great at 10 different crafts. I can acknowledge that I’m not extraordinarily gifted at everything. While other things come naturally to me or the activities are just enjoyable and I find pleasure in doing them.

Lately though I’m not there. I told my BIG sister that I feel like I’m back peddling. . . . . whatever that means. I just feel like I’m spinning my wheels pursing a path working with youth. You know for every success there seems to be a setback. It isn’t always a major one but enough to off center me and cause me to retreat. Rethink what the prize(s) at the finish line should be/are. I pause to reconsider if I’m missing the mark and not walking the path HE has set before me.

Anyhoo I’m grateful for all the support that I’ve received from my dear friends who’ve listened to me go on and on about wanting something more. Needing something more. Not clothes. Not a man. Not money. That place of fulfillment. That place where I’m giving my best to others in need. I must find my way from there to here and soon!

Have you experienced a moment in life where you need to transition from your current place to a place of fulfillment, one of joy, of serving because it’s rewarding (not just financially) and peaceful?


Still swimming J,
~dIvAmOm~

4 comments:

Ashley said...

Yup, I know the feeling. Been there a few times, & currently there. I don't know how to explain it but I understand where you're coming from.

Your Fav Cubanita said...

I've been there many times...always wondering if what I am doing is really what I'm supposed to be doing with this life of mine...ever since I can remember, I've always to do something that will inspire others...that will encourage them...sometimes it seems that while we're taking 2 steps back, it's really going to be OK...you gotta look at the thousand steps forward that you've taken and not the few backward ones that show their ugly faces at the wrong time!
I LOVE YOU!!!

Nikki said...

I know exactly how you feel. I have found myself in that same place many times. As a teacher, I know that working with children is my calling. I know that is my purpose. But every now and then I wonder if I am doing all that He wants me to do with this gift. Remember every setback is a set up for a comeback! Just pray on it and He will continue to guide you in the right direction!

Nikki

vwcrew6 said...

Love Your blog..expressing your feelings...allows healing...I'm praying that you get the answers that you are seeking from God

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