I don’t know where to begin with this story so I will jump right in. It is summertime and everyone should be sizzling and expecting great things to happen. Well me, I was dreaming of a summer filled with more than just teaching and learning. I was open to it. With all the talk about Black women and dating I vowed not to be one of the snobby ones that weren’t open to dinner and a movie with a decent guy. So what do I do? I decide that if a cutie asks me for my number or asked me out I’d make myself available. Well I did…it went horribly wrong three different times!
Let’s talk about B. B is a blue eyed Latino hottie! At least I thought so and still do but my mama said looks isn’t everything. When a man is cute in uniform I get all giddy. I saw him working on the fire alarm system at my school a few times. I knew he was checking me out so I made sure to copy something when he was in the main office. Let me also insert here this would have been my first time dating a non Black man. Not really important but I’m trying to paint the picture of me branching out. The story continues with B calling me while I’m standing in line to order at Panera Bread a few days ago. He’s apologizing for not calling. I had not heard from him a week or so. He tells me he has a lot going on in his personal life. My radar says run like a deer during hunting season but I continue to listen while scouting the menu to pick my two goodies.
B tells me he wants to explain everything and I’m thinking you need a soft couch and a therapist because I’m not interested; as well as how much I wanted some clam chowder soup. B realizes that I’m busy and asks me to call him back. I don’t. The next day he sends a text. Let me pause and ask am I the only chick who does not want a texting relationships if there is such a thing? He wants to know what’s up and if he can see me later after his 3:30 medical appointment. I agree but never hear from him and haven’t at this time of writing this post.
Next up is t Mr. Landscaping whom I met on Saturday as I was walking to Walgreens and Barnes & Noble. I didn’t see him but he saw me. Dude, got off the riding mower followed me into the store with his stinky self and approached me. This should have been the fist clue that he was clueless. But here again, I was thinking he’s a working brotha. You can’t go wrong with that quality, right. Well Mr. Landscaping chats it up with me for a few minutes. I’m really distracted because I’m looking for something specific so when he asked for my number I chuckle. Then I take a deep breath look at him good and think to myself this isn’t marriage it may be a potential date. We walk outside and chat a bit more. He pulls out his iPhone (that’s red flag #2, I am #teamblackberry) and asks to call me, suggesting we can get together for the upcoming holiday weekend. I didn’t take Mr. Landscaping’s number.
I wanted to leave it up to him to pursue me if he was really interested. Well I guess he was because on Monday I received a text from an unknown number that read Hey Sexy! I was thought in my mind who the hell is this but texted back who the heck Is this. I don’t give my number out often so I was willing to forgive the idiot if it was someone I knew joking. Well the message I recvived back sent me into a twitter rant. I call him on it & he texts back: "Sorry, so so sexy... Hope u forgive me me me me me.” At this point I’m like is the fool serious. What he’s an aspiring rapper on the side or poet? No way and I proceed to delete his number.
You would think that would end it all but on the same day an old flame resurfaces. Jodi, my nickname for him has been calling me for a week or so now. I’ve ignored each call and continued living my peaceful life in the country with my mom and grandmother. This time the we have history part of me sends a text back that simply reads “What?” Get ready for this one instead of texting he calls. Yes, I answer and he’s like what’s up. I say what’s up and he says what’s up again and the phone disconnects. I don’t know if he hung up or the Lord sent an intervention. Jodi, is a fighter though. It’s been years and he’s still calling. Jodi, goes in for the big gun. He texted after calling me fifty million times plus our brief conversation & asked if I wanted to meet at Golden C. He can't spell corral?! Although I hear the biscuits are good. Ladies, no way! I just can’t! Come on, really?! I take my son to better spots than Golden Corral. Why not McCormick & Schmick's or Ruth Chris? I like being dolled up & dining. If I ever mentioned those places when I was seeing him he would say he didn’t feel comfortable in those settings. All he wanted to order was chicken, rice and a drink. Talk about not wanting to grow.
STOP, before you start judging me let me elaborate.
B is cute but didn’t call for a week after we spoke a few times. When we did speak he told me he has a lot going on in his personal life. I have a life, one that is semi-normal (read my first blog post http://adivamomsjourney.blogspot.com/2010/02/about-me.html) and I’m won’t sign up to date a guy who has more issues than I already have. Pursing my doctoral studies while working full time is stressful enough! Why would I intentally add unnecessary stress to it?
As for Mr. Landscaping he started out the gate wrong and never got a chance to be in the race. I deleted his two text messages and spent the day on the beach reading. And my former flame Jodi, doesn’t want to grow. Period. End of story. I grew up in Monticello, Florida but books, traveling with my mom, movies, attending FSU I learned a world bigger than my small town existed and I wanted to be a part of it. Maybe he feels that I’m trying to change him. Ladies, we all know (or you should) that men don’t conform to a woman’s expectations and I’d be wrong to ask that of him.
My girl Chai says it's the sundresses & heels that I love to rock every summer. I’ve decided my new wardrobe will be bermuda & cargo shorts with t-shirts with artsy sayings from Aeropostale. My big brother @ClaytonMuhammad suggested we have to get them a copy of @cooloutrageous book, Advance Your Swagger! They can learn from it! He’s the founder of B2M and quite the gentleman along with the young men he mentors. Another twitter follower @jmwilli suggested I register for Google Voice and give out that number. What’s the purpose for all that extra? If I don’t want anyone to call me when they ask I tell them straight up I’m not interested. This is 2010!!!! Who has time for games? Whatever the reason I walked away from 3 suitors but didn’t lock my heart.