Wednesday, May 12, 2010

This Is Not A Forward

Most of you know I love technology from email to Facebook to Twitter to pMessenger to Blackberry Messenger. I love social networking & any apps that will allow me to keep up with my near and far and virtual peeps. What I dislike is forwards. You know, when an email contact sends you one of those emails that says if you just repeat the prayer you'll receive a financial blessing. Or my favorite email that guarantees you'll receive a check from Microsoft if you forward the email to 100 people. I am always thinking in my head: "Really people, do you believe Bill Gate's accounting firm is sitting by waiting to cuts checks for bored office personnel?!?"

But the email below was worth forwarding. I realized that my blog followers (although it is less than 20 - I'm still hopeful) and twitter fam would miss out on 34 thought provoking statements. I chuckled and slapped my desk as I read through them. So go ahead and scroll down and find your favorites. Tweet the ones you really like. Copy and paste the entire email into your email and BCC (yes, do not show my address to strangers) all your email buddies. When you finish comment and let me know which of these struck you as really funny because they captured a part of who you are? My favorite is #24. Anyone who knows how much I adore my Blackberry will agree that I'm addicted like a teenager!

Happy reading!

Thought Provoking Statements

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection . . . again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste!

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, they just smell.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my last dollar everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

33. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your rear end and open the door.

Muah, Xo!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Greener Pastures

Helllloooo all, I’m back. Yeah, it’s been rough being away but I was forced to step away from being superwoman, supermom and a diva. Some of you know what has transpired in my life over the last few weeks and others will just have to accept that sometimes life has a way of throwing you a curve ball that will upset your game.

During my time away I learned a bit more about myself that I want to share with you:

1. I’m not really a superwoman. I do NOT have superpowers. I must learn to listen to my body. Renewing my mind, spirit and soul is a necessity. I'm headed to a beach near me this weekend, YAY!

2. “The safest place in the whole wide world is in the will of GOD’ (thanks Karen Clark Sheard for this song). I have the album ‘Finally Karen’. I haven’t played it in a looonnnngggg time but the lyrics started playing in my head while I was in the shower. I know it was GOD’s way of reminding me that HE’s with me! I was reminded that in HIS presence is safety, shelter and provision. No matter where I go, what I do and what life brings I will never forget to pray, praise and worship the greatest KING.

3. Music really runs through my veins. I may not be aware of the latest artists or even remember groups from the 80’s but when I need to be transported from one moment to the next, I crank up the iPod, click for a Genuis mix in iTunes or open a window for Pandora and off I go. Try it and let the beautiful lyrics of your favorite songs massage your shoulders and tickle your feet until your heart and head is clearer.

4. Saying NO is really acceptable. When I started this blog I promised to let go of things that would be a burden to my already full plate and people who did not have my best interest at heart (including family). I tried hard to do so but who I am wouldn’t allow me to see a need and not jump at the chance to help out. Well yesterday I said NO and it felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I plan to try it more over the next few weeks.

5. I will never have an apartment that looks like one of those beautiful places on HGTV and that it isn’t the end of the world. Between single parenting, working full time, graduate school, keeping up with social networking and having a small ounce of my own life keeping my place clean and tidy is more than enough. Thanks to @ChaddBgrindin, Mrs. Timmer, Susan and Mrs. Collins for helping me to see the light. The laundry is still in the basket in the laundry room folded, lol but clean.

6. I’m addicted to books! I had a friend tell me if I can give up reading for pleasure my graduate studies will progress quicker (along with giving up a few other things) but I just can’t. I can’t remember a day that I haven’t had a book or magazine in my backpack or purse. As an educator in a system that does not (yes, I put it out there) encourage reading for pleasure I refuse to see literature as only something for academic purposes. I’m a firm believer that books will never be uncool. Every author/writers isn’t writing educational curriculum; therefore, I’m going to read, read, read because it brings me pleasure. What are you currently reading?

None of these discoveries are earth shattering but they are new bits of knowledge that will help me to live my best life. I hope you are in a place where you are listening to your heart, mind, soul. A place where you are paying attention to the events occurring in your life and making adjustments as needed. I want to be around to see KT graduate from high school and head off to my alma mater (Go S.E.M.I.N.O.L.E.S!). If I don’t learn as l live what a waste this time on earth will be. 

At the end of the day, my peace comes from knowing that I lived the day doing what pleased the Father, what makes my family stronger and utilizes the gifts and talents inside of me. I'm not looking to graze in anyone else's pasture. I don't want their water bill, electric bill or landscaping bill because I may not be able to afford it. Take the time today to re-evaluate your own life and plug into the things that bring you joy and unplug those things that are distracting. Enjoy your own green pasture!

Muah, Xo,
~DiVa MoM~
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