Sunday, March 21, 2010

Happy Single Parent Day

Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
Lin Yulang

I’m not a big fan of parent holidays specifically Mother’s Day. Not because I’m don’t have a great mom or because I’m not striving to be a great mother to my son but because as a single mom there is no one to take me out, send me to the spa or take the kid shopping for a gift to present me. If he does get me a gift it’s one I purchased and I took him to pick it out so the thrill isn’t really there. Well this year I’m not going to have a pity party. I’m going to start with a new but important holiday: Single Parents Day. We are being recognized. We are valued. Who cares about the reasons we are single or the gifts we don’t receive? What is important are the results: our children. So stop and take a look at your child or children. What are their behaviors/mannerisms communicating to you? They are a reflection of their environment. Are they happy? Sad? Depressed? Singing at 7:30am, like my son or dreading rolling out of bed to head off to school. Your kids are you. A display of the parenting they receive.

On Friday my mom sent me the following email:
“This Sunday is Single Parents’ Day. So I want to thank you for being a good mom to my grandson, KT - Hope there aren’t any typos I’m trying to keep from crying! -“I am not going to thank you for being his dad as we have our Heavenly Father to thank for that. He will look back and thank you for the life you gave him and how you taught him skills to make it in life.” –Mom-

As you can imagine, I was too thrilled. Honestly, there are times when I feel like no one notices. I don’t need 24/7 applause or validation but it helps to know that I am parenting well and my son is thriving. There are days when I feel guilty that I promised to play Wii but didn’t because I fell asleep on the couch after cooking dinner and didn’t wake up until 8pm. Just in time to check homework, help him get ready for bed, read a bedtime story and pull his covers up. There are days when I am sad that he only has me. I carry this guilt that it’s my fault he only has one parent. Every day I am grateful to GOD that I have KT to keep me going. I often say he saved my life.

I’m now a pretty good cook because male children eat an enormous amount of food daily. My financial status is improving because I want to teach him early that saving money is very important. My list of what I want in a mate is driven by what I want my son to become, the type of man I want as his role model. My decisions are weighted more carefully because I have another life to watch over. My heart is fuller because a part of me is here in the form of an angel that I’m allowed to love. My mini-me. I’m kidding. He’s a spitting image of his dad.
As I reflect on my life today, I stand tall, back straight, swagger turned up, cheeks rosey, lashes coated with a few coats of mascara and delighted that I’m not a forgotten single mom but an everyday hero on the grind shaping a life, my man child into some as great as I dream to be. Today is my day to celebrate that I’m a strong woman with an amazing African KING!
~dIvA mOm~

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